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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836495">Exclusive Interview with Iron Newly Weds</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCUsic_to_my_ears/pseuds/MCUsic_to_my_ears'>MCUsic_to_my_ears</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Children, Adopted Peter Parker, American History, Awesome James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Interviews, Ironhusbands, Journalism, M/M, Parent James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Parent Tony Stark, Queer History, Tony Stark Has A Heart, adopted lila rhodes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:15:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCUsic_to_my_ears/pseuds/MCUsic_to_my_ears</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After their honeymoon, Tony Stark and James Rhodes accept an interview with Karen Page so they can get on with their married life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ironhusbands Big Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Exclusive Interview with Iron Newly Weds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Although I tried to keep much of the historical and legal sections accurate, I play fast and loose with the adoption process/privacy laws.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In all of my years of journalism, I never thought that this position would get me into one of the most highly guarded homes in the United States. Forget the White House—there are no leakers in the Stark-Rhodes household. Although many journalists have toured around Stark Tower in Manhattan, I was the first to be invited upstate. In this twenty acre forest, a small cabin nestled inside, Tony Stark and James Rhodes walked me through their life story, which will be all too familiar to some. Their triumphs and sorrows, their family and secrets, their hopes and fears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I arrived at the outer gates at six in the morning on a foggy Sunday. Their honeymoon—which had been cut short due to an unfortunate Kree outbreak in London—was now three weeks behind them. The security post jutted out into the only road leading into the fortress. Although there is no fencing surrounding the territory, the thick forest and constantly scanning drones make it impossible for anyone unwelcome to get far. That’s putting aside the threat of Iron Man and War Machine both residing inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The security officer allowed me through with little fuss and the path I drove down quickly turned from gravel to paved road again. A few winding miles later, and the cabin came into view. The sun had fully risen, basking the structure in warmth. A complicated, hand crafted playset was visible a few yards from the house and a swinging bridge connected it to the wrap around porch. The sounds of the forest almost silenced the closer I got to the home. As I parked, the front door opened and I was met by Tony Stark. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He leaned against the doorframe with a casual air. Without his signature facial hair, he would look just like any other suburban dad. Faded jeans with holes in his back pockets. A warm grey sweater to stave off the cool morning. No sunglasses, which I had for some reason been expecting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I gathered up my journal, camera, and recorder and met the man on the porch. He shook my hand, a pleasant smile on his face, but weary lines etched around his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Stark,” I greeted. I have interviewed leaders of terrorists cells and written exposés about high profile sexual assaults with cease-and-desist orders in my trash. Yet no subject has intimidated me more than Tony Stark. No armor necessary, the man’s small frame cast out an encompassing aura. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes crinkled a bit more genuinely. “It’s Tony,” he corrected. “And the pleasure’s all mine, Miss. Page.” He gestured for me to follow him inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entrance to the house was just as homey as the outside. I was taken aback by just how lived-in the space was. Open books placed face down to keep their place and half finished puzzles lazed on top of the surfaces in the living room to my right, inviting someone to pick up where another had left off. To my left sat a simple kitchen bracketed off by a sleek island. Things were more orderly inside, but a stray cereal bowl sat beside the sink, unwashed. Leaning beside the coffee maker, James Rhodes waited. He had an indulgent look on his face, as if he and Tony had just shared an inside joke before I had arrived. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The coffee finished brewing and James poured two mugs. One he filled completely and the other only halfway. The second he finished off with French Vanilla creamer and a dash of sugar and then handed it to Tony in a practiced move. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Coffee?” James offered, gesturing with the half-full pot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I declined and introduced myself. We spent a few minutes going over our arrangement, gained permission to include my initial observations and then I turned on my recorder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would give you a tour of the property, but that’s a three night backpacking trip,” James informed me as they led me further into the space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just the house will do,” I answered, readying my camera. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>First was the living room, which I had already passed. I snapped a few pictures, which are included in a ten page spread at the end of this article. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you owned this property?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad bought this land long before I was born,” Tony explained as I continued to take in the space. “Built a huge mansion where we spent the summers and holidays. He had a very specific blueprint for success and this was part of it. He had a menagerie. Flamingoes, kangaroos, a gorilla at one point.” He shrugged. “By the time he passed, he’d sold all of the animals to various zoos. I tore the house down a few years after that. Then ten or so years ago—well it was the year before we adopted Peter, so it would have been 2004. In 2004, me and a few architects drew up plans for the cabin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have any input on the designs, James?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James shook his head. “I was overseas. I didn’t actually know he was building a cabin until after it was built.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been living here?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been here on and off since 2009. We were based out of Malibu before that, but when Peter was ready for Kindergarten, we decided he needed a bit more stability,” James replied before leading us toward the back of the house. Along the hallway to the back, James stopped to point out a section of the wall on the left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is where Peter decided to draw on the wall when he was seven.” James motioned to an otherwise creme painted wall. In between a pair of blue armchairs sat a series of stick figures. In the center was a young boy who was likely a self portrait by Peter himself. The boy was holding hands with his two fathers. Tony was in an imitation of the Ironman suit and James was in what appeared to be his dress blues. Off to the left sat a woman with red hair and a business suit, Pepper Potts. Next to her was a man with unruly hair and a gun. When I asked, I was informed that this was Happy Hogan, the man in charge of security for the family. Less faded than the rest of the marker-drawn figures was an image of the newest addition to the Stark-Rhodes family. Lila stood holding James’ hand with a bright smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We left it so that whenever he brought friends over, he’d be embarrassed,” Tony tacked on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is Peter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s working on homework upstairs,” James supplied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I gave them a questioning look. Most New York schools wouldn’t be back in session for another three weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He gets bored during the summer, so we set him up with some online classes. Something to get his mind thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does Lila take classes too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony shook his head. “She took some coding classes last summer. She’s been working on some of her own programming throughout the school year and wanted to focus on that instead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything profitable?” I inquired jokingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony’s face darkened however. “You sound like the Board. We would never copyright or market anything that the kids didn’t want out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James placed a hand on Tony’s arm, causing Tony to send an apologetic look my way. I wasn’t offended by his protectiveness, however. While it was quite a different light, I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything less for the Earth’s Best Defender. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Lila also upstairs?” I asked instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s at my mom’s house,” James answered with no more explanation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We toured a few more spaces around the house. An office here, a game room there. All pictured below. Again, each area clearly had a purpose and was clearly used frequently for the purpose. It didn’t appear that the Stark-Rhodes’ were putting on appearances. A pair of shoes was left out and a few games were resting on the floor instead of the shelf. It was refreshing to see the home’s inherent authenticity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We settled down on the porch a little after seven. James and Tony occupied a porch swing while I rested on a rocking chair. My recorder sat between us on a patchy side table. The blue paint was faded and chipped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of Peter’s first projects in the garage,” Tony explained, pride gleaming in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although I wished I could start unpacking their history there, I knew that it was best to go back to where it all began. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start from the beginning,” I suggested. “Although you were never shy about your sexuality, Tony, it came as a shock to many people that you were not only settling down, but with another man. What was it like growing up, knowing you were pansexual, but not being able to express that to anyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony nodded thoughtfully, swinging their seat slowly. “I came up in a very conservative household. My dad wasn’t much for God, but my mom certainly was. I was lucky that being gay was at least acknowledged in my youth, but it wasn’t something I could bring home.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although the Stark’s have been a private family, a 2010 article by Christine Everhart laid out much evidence supporting that Howard Stark had been abusive and unfaithful toward Maria Stark. Tony has never confirmed these claims, although in recent years his comments have indicated that much of this speculation about Howard’s nature toward his wife and son are true. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aside from that conservatism, were there any other pressures? You were chosen as the heir to Stark Industries from a very young age.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Certainly the Board wouldn’t have anything to do with Howard’s gay son. But more than that, the AIDS outbreak was in my teenage years. It was called GRID at first—Gay Related Immunodifficiency. Suddenly being gay wasn’t just a sin. It was killing people.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James placed his hand over Tony’s. “My mama is a deeply religious woman. We never discussed homosexuality in my household except for when my dad would make some offhanded comment about one of his coworkers. When the AIDS outbreak first started, I was in Philadelphia, which had its first reported case when I was thirteen. Nobody was supposed to talk about it because it was related to being gay. Obviously, being gay wasn’t causing it, but most people didn’t care about that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So there was a lot of shame and backlash regarding your identities.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both nodded and Tony added. “A lot of therapy to get that out of my system.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the time you both reached college, what was your relationship with your sexuality like?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was fifteen when I started at MIT, which is common knowledge for some reason.” Tony shrugged while James rolled his eyes with a smirk. “Although many people paint it differently, I wasn’t really experimenting at the time, especially since no one was my age. While MIT has actually had some LGBT programming on their campus when I was there, the fraternities on campus spent a lot of time and energy harassing the group. The year before I started, someone had robbed the GaMIT lounge.” The GaMIT (Gays at MIT) club was MIT’s second iteration of an LGBTQ association. “It was a lot of incidents like that that made me stay in the closet for a lot longer than I think I would have liked to.” Although MIT as an institution supports LGBTQ people, its student body constantly undermines those efforts. MIT’s discrimination clause contained sexual orientation as a protected identity as early as 1981, but, as many queer alumni have attested, that hasn’t stopped many of the students from lashing out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony’s experience, while unfortunate, was not uncommon. James further indicated this. “It was a lot worse in the ROTC program. Anyone who was found out to be going to GaMIT was ostracized. I knew a couple guys who dropped out because of it. I went to one meeting my entire time at MIT. It was May of my senior year. I just wanted to be able to say I’d gone and that was the safest way to do so. I already had a target on me for being Black.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Racism is not something that went away after the 1964 Civil Rights Act,” I agreed. “Can you expand on how that impacted your time on campus, James?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The father nodded. “Probably ten percent of people on campus were Black or people of color. There was an Association for Black Engineers that I was the secretary for my senior year, but it was easy to feel isolated. It was easy to feel like you only got there because you were Black, not because of your actual merits as a student. There was a survey that went around my freshman year by some diversity organization, asking about what it was like to be a minority on campus. I remember some of the questions being so obvious. Like, of course I wish that more people of color were admitted. Of course I was more Black engineers. If you’re crowdsourcing that information, maybe you shouldn’t be the ones asking the questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The materials of the survey were very othering?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James nodded. “It was easy to other myself already. I’m a Black gay man on ROTC scholarship for Aerospace Studies and Physics. None of those stereotypes matched up. I didn’t need frat bros telling me I didn’t belong, I heard that all the time in my head.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Despite all this, you both graduated in four years. What gave you the drive to continue?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t have much of a choice,” Tony sighed. “It was that or apprentice under my dad. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed MIT, especially after meeting James. But it was the only real option.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded to James. “And for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew I wanted to fly. I wanted to be able to provide for my mom and my family after my time with the Marines. Dropping out never occurred to me in any real sense.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Amidst all of this, when did you two meet?” Much speculation has surrounded the pair's meeting. Multiple sources claiming to have known the couple during their college years have come forward. Some have claimed that James was sent to the school by either Obidiah Stane or Howard Stark to keep Tony out of trouble. Others have said that they met during a protest of the MIT Corporation's investment in South Africa during Apartied. Even when James was known only as Stark Industry’s military liaison, reporters had been vying for an answer to the question. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James jostled Tony’s knee humorously. “I don’t know, I’ve really enjoyed the mystery around this one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony grinned. “Pepper sent me a conspiracy video on YouTube that said that you are actually a spy hired by Justin Hammer to steal my designs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you’ve finally learned the truth,” James teased. “I married you and raised two kids with you just to get access to those sweet sweet instant toaster blueprints.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First off,” Tony laughed. “We agreed to never discuss drunk engineering, especially in front of the media.” He looked at me accusingly before returning to his husband. “Second off, that toaster would have worked if-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If the heat from the filaments hadn’t melted the gears for the time piece together,” James finished. “I know, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other with faux-seriousness, grins growing until laughter spilled out. They returned their attention to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was the question?” Tony asked between chuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How we met,” James supplied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How we met!” Tony exclaimed triumphantly. “A little background first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” James muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the time I was fifteen, I was fluent in Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, French, and English, obviously. All of the Romance languages. But my old man wanted me to brush up on the German that I’d neglected as a kid, so he stuck me in the German House in New House, which was a fairly new dorm on campus. James was in Chocolate City, which was located in the same building. I was, um, exploring the building-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James rocked their chair with a bit of force to teasingly move him. “He got lost,” he corrected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony scowled in jest. “And I ended up in one of the CC lounges. James was in there studying for an upper level physics course that we were both enrolled in as an elective. He was Course VIII in addition to his ROTC Aerospace degree and I was Course VI. It was a match made in heaven.” The Courses are MIT’s version of majors. Course VIII is Physics and Course VI is Electrical Engineering and Computer Science. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long into your friendship did you realize that you wanted to be together?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They considered each other for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me,” Tony started, “it was winter break of the year we met. My dad and I got into a fight which somehow resulted in me coming out. I think then I had just said I was gay, but I knew that ‘bi’ was a more accurate term. I came across ‘pan’ and it stuck about fifteen years ago,” Tony added. “We were at dinner and my mom just sat there. I stormed off and called James. He was probably the only person that could have calmed me down. He usually is,” he grinned slightly. James squeezed his knee. “Somewhere in that conversation, I knew. I didn’t think it was ever possible, but here we are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clearly this was something James already knew, because he gave his husband an indulgent, knowing look. “I was a bit more stringent,” James teased. “I was deploying for the second time in ‘91. Tones was seeing me off and acting very straight, which was adorable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘91, so before Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was passed.” Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was a 1994 Department of Defense directive passed to ensure that queer people could only serve in the military as long as nobody knew they were queer. The ‘Don’t Ask’ portion discourages supervisors and others from prying into suspected queer people’s lives. The ‘Don’t Tell’ portion discourages queer people from coming out. A third section, ‘Don’t Pursue’ established what would actually be required for such an investigation. Later that year, ‘Don’t Harass’ was added to disallow violence and discrimination against queer servicemembers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James gave his own explanation of the policy. “Don’t Ask was passed to so that queer people could serve in the military as long as they didn’t talk about it. Before that, if there was any suspicion that someone was gay, people would pry until that person’s career was over. Don’t Ask wasn’t a solution—anti-discrimnation laws are the only real solution—but it was an attempt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But when you knew?” I redirected. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. Tony wasn’t there the first time I’d shipped out, so the second time, I was missing him before I’d even left. It made me realize how much I valued our relationship, how much I wanted to return to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He always promises to be home for dinner,” Tony added. “Which started on that day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you weren’t out at that time?” I asked James. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I didn’t come out until after this tour. And even then, it was only to Tony.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony added, “It was a couple weeks before my parents passed, so wonderful timing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked him on a date during the will reading, if I remember correctly.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obidiah was pissed at that,” Tony sighed gleefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something playful lit in James’ eyes. “Good. That was the idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obidiah Stane, who has been missing since 2008 and presumed dead, acted as the interim CEO for Stark Industries from 1991 to 1995, when Tony assumed the role. Although Stane acted as an advisor to Tony for his time as CEO, there has been much speculation about Stane’s involvement in Tony’s 2008 kidnapping. Stark Industries has declined to comment for the past 10 years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you go on that date?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony nodded. “We started officially dating shortly after my parents died. I think a lot of those close to us assumed that we were already together, but my parents’ opinion had prevented me from ever going forward with a relationship.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And when would this have been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our anniversary is December 21st, 1991. Same day as our wedding, to make it easier for Tony to remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m great with dates!” Tony protested, playfully shoving his husband. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What day is it today?” James challenged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony opened his mouth to answer but quickly closed it. “I know we’re in the teens,” he grumbled, but his eyes were full of mirth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So at this point you were out at least privately?” I continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To our friends, yes. I didn’t come out to my family until after Don’t Ask was passed, completely ignoring the ‘Don’t Tell’ section. It went pretty well, but my mom has always been accepting about queer issues. When my dad would bring up that coworker, she always made him say something nice as well.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the ensuring years, many states would pass provisions allowing same-sex couples to register for civil unions or domestic partnerships. However, as James explained, “Don’t Ask was still in place. Registering for a civil union would have allowed Tony into my hospital room if I’d gotten injured in battle, but I wouldn’t have been a part of the military anymore to get injured if we were registered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would argue that you not being in a position to get injured is a positive,” Tony rebutted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James shrugged, eyes crinkling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would being in a domestic partnership have made adoption easier?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In some cases, maybe,” Tony responded. “It depends on the adoption agency. When we adopted Peter, I was the sole guardian on his papers. When we adopted Lila, James was the sole guardian on her papers. On our wedding day, I filed to officially adopt Lila and James filed to officially adopt Peter.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As New York law—where Peter was adopted from—mandates that all adoption records remain private, there is no way to confirm this. However, Lila was adopted from Maine and public records show that this is true. Lila’s adoption status has in fact been public information since 2012, but very few people were following James’ private life, even after he was announced as War Machine in 2011. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did you two decide that you wanted to adopt?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve always wanted to be a dad,” James started. “And I’ve always been gay, so I’ve been ready to adopt since I was seventeen. But we knew that we wanted to be parents together about five years before we adopted Peter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what made you decide that? A lot of thought and patience must go into adoption in general and especially in making your adoption private.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony nodded in thought. “Partly it was a selfish ploy to make him come home more often. But I think we knew that we wanted to build something. After meeting Peter, we knew we wanted to grow a family more than anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did Peter become a part of your lives?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James and Tony shared a smile. “We were working with a couple adoption agencies in 2005. Peter’s parents died earlier that year and he was placed in foster care. The case manager we were working with was also Peter’s case manager. He was already a wisie-crack at three years old and when we met him, we knew that he had a place in our family. He was the only child we met with and we’ve obviously never had any regrets,” Tony explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And why did you decide to keep everything private?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This wasn’t a Daddy Warbucks situation,” Tony spit out immediately, voice somewhere in between anger and humor. “We didn’t want Peter to ever feel like he was a media stunt. We didn’t need the press analyzing every milestone. Been there, done that. Hated it.” Tony ended with a smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“However, Lila was never kept a secret,” I pointed out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would have been a lot more difficult to achieve,” James admitted. “Peter’s adoption had taken almost two years to orchestrate. Lila’s was born out of circumstance. My sister died from breast cancer four years ago. Lila could’ve gone to live with my mom and my mom would have done a great job raising her, but she was my goddaughter as well as my niece. We had already been thinking about adopting again when Jenny passed. Jenny was the youngest Black tenure track psychology professor at Dartmouth, so at least in academic circles, her death was news.” At twenty-seven, Jennette Rhodes was hired straight out of graduate school from Stanford to continue her research in Alzheimer’s disease. At the time of her passing, she only had one year left before she would have reached tenure at thirty-three years old. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James continued, “In a grape vine sort of way, people knew that I had adopted Lila. For the most part, we kept Tony separate from her adoption.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re really lucky that thus far, Peter and Lila have had relatively normal childhoods,” Tony added. “They go to school where only a few of their friends know about us. After they turn eighteen, it will be their decision if and how to reveal their identities to the world.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tony is a true helicopter dad,” James teased. “I had to talk him down from waiting until they’re twenty-five.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Their prefrontal cortices won’t fully develop until then!” his husband protested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ll be legal adults,” James reasoned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony’s sour look broke a bit when he responded with, “I could lobby Congress to repeal the twenty-sixth amendment!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James and I both laughed at his lofty goals. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“While you were adopting Peter and later Lila, there was much media speculation that you, Tony, were dating Pepper Potts.” At the time of Peter’s adoption, Pepper Potts was Tony’s personal assistant and was regularly spotted with Tony in public and private settings. The pair were very comfortable with each other and were often seen hugging and holding hands. By the time Lila was adopted, Tony had given Potts his title of CEO of Stark Industries. Although they were seen together less often, many threats towards Iron Man were made at the expense of Potts. James was never in the public eye the way Potts was, even after Tony’s 2010 Senate testimony where they were both present and clearly comfortable with each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was by design. Before Pepper was a master of business, she was a master of publicity. She is very detail-oriented and was able to manufacture our images so that people would ask. Although she wasn’t a beard or anything—” A beard being a person that a queer individual is pretending to date in order to conceal their identity. “—as we never told any reporters that we were dating, she definitely received a lot of attention that a beard would. She was by far our biggest ally throughout the past decade or so,” Tony explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pepper is a great friend,” James agreed. “And a hell of a trooper. In the past month, I have gotten more media attention than I thought possible. Even the weeks where War Machine was in the news can’t hold a candle to the number of encounters I’ve had recently. And I’ve been in far more private settings now than I was then. I can only imagine that her experience was worse as a woman. I wouldn’t wish that kind of invasion of privacy on anyone, especially not someone as brilliant as Pepper.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Along the lines of keeping your relationship a secret, you two have been together since 1991. Don’t Ask was repealed in 2011, so it wouldn’t have jeopardized your career to come out as a couple publically. How did you make that decision to remain quiet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no correct way to come out, to be clear,” James began. “I think we both would have liked to come out sooner, but unfortunately there is a lot of money tied up in our, and especially Tony’s, public image. We wanted to do so in a way that wouldn’t harm SI or any of the employees, or the Avengers. Public opinion was a coin toss when it came to gay marriage, which again wasn’t legalized until last year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In Massachusetts, it’s been legal since 2010. 2011 in New York,” Tony added absentmindedly. James jostled him for seemingly picking my side, although it was clearly in jest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You both seem very knowledgeable about history,” I joked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well you pick up a thing or two when you’re being discriminated against,” Tony answered dryly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before I tried my luck at humor again, I decided to return to my previous line of questioning. “But nationally, it appears that you’ve waited half a year to get married.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Although we were at a place where we would have liked to have gotten married immediately, we had to work everything out with our families, kids, friends, SI, and the Avengers,” Tony explained. “The ceremony was very small, but coordinating all of the secrecy and security before and press after for that and our honeymoon required a lot of forethought.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As with much of these partners’ lives recently, everything came back to the Avengers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s back up a bit. You were already dating well before either of your became superheroes. How has this affected your relationship?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony revealed his identity as the Iron Man in a press conference in 2008. James took up the mantle of War Machine two years later and the government disclosed his identity in 2011. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After Tony announced that he was Iron Man, we got into a lot of fights. Our most famous was probably during his birthday party in 2010 where the suits were involved, but it was almost constant. About Peter, about safety, about privacy. About everything really. We finally sat down with a therapist to work out our communication after that because obviously neither of us were really angry. We were both scared for the other. I finally understood how Tony felt when I shipped out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How I still feel,” Tony corrected softly, squeezing James’ hand. His husband smiled at him briefly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the time the Avengers had been gathered and Lila was adopted, we had our communication pretty well figured out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve always been on the same page about most things-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James interrupted quickly, “Except giving terrorists our home address.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony blushed. “Except giving terrorists our home address,” he agreed sheepishly. “Although I will add that I only did that once and I did apologize after. Also I was the only one actually living there at the time. You and Peter were both in New York.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James nudged Tony. “Not helping your case, Tones.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His partner shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you manage parenting, your relationship and your superheroism?” I urged on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had to put together a lot of contingency plans. Peter and Lila have a lot of wonderful aunts and uncles—both blood related and not—who are willing to step in if both of us are needed for Avengers purposes.” Tony explained. “I stepped down from the Avengers last year, but there are still times where it’s all hands on deck. Peter and Lila are both wonderful about it. They’re really strong kids. Obviously, when we adopted Peter we had no idea that a handful of years later I would be attracting more than just assassins. But they’ve both been troopers throughout everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be clear,” James tacked on. “We are both home far more often than there’s an Avengers level threat. But when something like what happened on our honeymoon occurs, we have people in place to take care of the kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or when it’s date night,” Tony grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To wrap things up, how have your identities influenced SI and your actions?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Both SI and us donate to loads of LGBTQ foundations. The Trevor Project, Transgender Law Center, GLSEN, trans people of color funds, Planned Parenthood, Black Lives Matter. Any place that catches our eye for doing good work,” James provided. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony nodded in agreement. “As for SI, we’ve worked hard to create a truly equal hiring framework as well as comprehensive discimination reporting and disciplinary actions. We deidentified our hiring process so that up until the interview stage, gender, race, sexual orientation, marital status, and, depending on the job, education are kept out of the hiring managers hands until the interview. We do audits every few months to ensure that our hiring standards are being met. It’s our version of the blind auditions that orchestras use. We did a company audit in 2000 and found out we were way too cis-het white male for anyone’s comfort. We hope that that, coupled with our strict anti-discrimination policy, will allow our company to uphold our ideals of diversity and equality.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>According to many inside reports and independent audits, Stark Industries has been succeeding. The anti-discrimination clause of their company code includes gender (explicitly including trans and nonbinary people), race, ethnicity, marital status, sexual orientation, religion, and many other identities that many states leave out. And to take it a step further, every person I emailed in preparation for this interview—from security personnel to Tony himself—all included their pronouns in the signature for their email. For fear of sounding like a fangirl, SI is an example that many other companies should be looking to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a final question, which is more for my own education than our readers: Why did you agree to do this interview?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have much to hide anymore. Tony threw secret identities out the window long ago and now that we’re out on our terms, there isn’t much I can think of that isn’t on our Wikipedia pages. Or that won’t be after Tony’s lawyers give you the go ahead to publish,” James corrected slyly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And to be honest,” Tony added, “We want to be able to live authentically. I’m almost fifty years old. We’re tired of hiding this last part of ourselves. Better to get it all out there at once then have waves of speculation come our way for the next fifty years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, I clicked off my recorder. As the first to break through the walls into the private life of these two heroes, I must say that I am grateful for their candor throughout our discussion of their history. Although I doubt we have seen the last of the Iron Newlyweds, I believe that this chapter of their lives has been closed. Here’s to the next fifty years of the Iron Husbands. </span>
</p>
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